jessica2244

Okay ... I can breathe now ... For the last week, I've been so tied up with this damned research project. There for a while, I wanted to pull my hair out because of it. I did my introduction, which went well, as did the method's section. I got as far as the results. I'd be sitting in my introduction to Research class while my professor is explaining how to total up our data and how to analyze all of it. Well, by the time I got home, I was so lost and confused. Part of that is because it's so damned visual!! There were charts, graphs and all that stuff. Then I was confused how to apply that to my research. I have never seen me get so worked up over an assignment before. It's out of 80 marks!!! I can't believe it. I don't think I'm going to do well on it at all. Finally, on Monday night of last week, I e-mailed my professor and asked her some questions about how to do it and how the tables should be laid out in my situation. She was very patient with me. She could tell I was stressed. I was stressed because it was supposed to be due on Friday. There was absolutely no way I was getting it done by Friday. I went to school on Tuesday and waited for my professor to e-mail me back. She didn't ... By this point, I was so frustrated that I just threw everything to the side. I went out to dinner with my french class, which got my mind off things. This was so good. I was able to think much more clearly after that. I had Wednesday off, so I was able to work on the research. I had a few other things that had to be done in the morning, so I didn't get to start it right away. I got the e-mail from my professor on Wednesday afternoon. After reading it a few times, I understood what I had to do. I ended up creating about eight tables with information that I would use in my paper. Well, only two went in my results section, and the others went into the appendices. And now we're at Sunday, yes, I am past when it was originally due. However, my professor said that she would make an extension for the class since almost everyone was having trouble. Originally, at the beginning of the year, she put into place something called a do-over. This was where if you got a poor mark on an assignment, you could have an extra week to do it over and get a better mark. Or if you didn't use it, you would get three bonus marks. I was going to ask for my do-over on Thursday, but my professor said that it wouldn't work because the marks have to be in by next Thursday. She made a compromise that we could all take until Tuesday at Midnight to complete the assignment. Those of us who haven't used up our do-overs would still get our three bonus marks even if it took us until Tuesday at Midnight. So ... Alas, I am DONE my research paper, 26 pages later!!!

I wrote my last First Nations test on Friday. This went okay. There were a lot of distractions around though. Despite the sign on the door that said "Do not disturb," people kept knocking at the disability office door. I was sitting in the front part of the office, which is right by the door. However, I had huge earphones on, so the sound was filtered out for the most part. The person who was invigilating my test was getting very upset at people. LOL. The next time I have an exam, which will be Tuesday, I'll be doing it in the back where I won't be distracted. It's a good thing I have a very good attention span. The exam that I have on Tuesday is going to be a lot more intense. At least I have 4 and a half hours to write it. I'm sure I'll need that time.

This semester's basically done for me now except for that last exam. Wow!! I can't believe it. It feels like it was just yesterday when I went there for the first time for a tour. I wasn't sure how things would plan out there. When I first moved up north here to Kirkland Lake, I felt so isolated. For the first 7 months I was here, the only people who I saw other than my Grandparents were the workers who came in twice a week. Now, I actually have a social life, along with a happy balance of school work. I'm so going to feel lost over the holidays. I won't be stuck doing homework every night. LOL. In a way, I'm going to miss my routine of coming home from school at ... whatever time, depending on the day, sitting with my Grandparents for a while, maybe doing some homework before supper, having supper, and then back at the homework afterwards. Ah well, it's only three weeks. It's the summer that's going to be even worse!! Well, maybe not if I have a job. Plus I'll be going for nature rides in that terriget that Grandpa and I bought. That's going to be loads of fun. I'll have to wear my snowmobile helmet to protect my face from low branches. Okay, I think I'm going to go for now. I'm getting sick of sitting at the computer. I've been sitting here all weekend practically.

Well, I found out what the bloodwork was that I was going to get done today. One of them was for the thyroid, which they already tested. This makes me wonder ... The other one was for my red and white blood cell count. They told me that they probably had to redo this because with the last one, they didn't get enough blood to complete the test, so they had to do something else to it to make it easier to test. I have to go back to see a doctor on the 12th of May. Gee, it's not going to be Dr. Gilfoil, the same doctor I saw in ... I forget if it was the beginning of this month, or the end of last month. I am not looking forward to it, that's for sure. I asked the lab tech if she needed to check my blood sugar levels and my cholesterol. She said she can't unless I have a requisition for that. She wouldn't give me any information about the bloodwork that I had done a couple of weeks ago. I really feel that I need to know what's going on.

Enough about me. My Grandpa had to get his glucose levels and his cholesterol checked today. However, it was a different test than last time. Yes, he had to fast for 12 hours, but he also had to drink some orange juice after they took some blood. He then had to wait 2 hours. Now, he's gone back to have the second thing of blood taken. I guess that's to see if his levels are okay even after having orange juice? I guess since his stroke, they're checking him for absolutely everything. I really hope it isn't what I think it is. If it's diabetes, I know he won't take care of himself as he should. He was supposed to go on a bit of a diet when they found out he had high cholesterol. Did he? Oh no. I mean ... Okay. We eat pretty healthily anyway. However, Grandma loads his plate with potatoes and gravy whenever we have something like roast beef. I eat rice instead because of my weight. The only time I have mashed potatoes is when we have our christmas, Easter or Thanksgiving dinners. Even then, it's just the tiniest of tastes.

Okay, I'll shut up now. LOL.

Hi again, folks.

Well, it's been a week since I arrived. A week and 1 day to be exact. I've been so busy doing so much exploring, shopping, and visiting with family. I am loving every bit of it.

I'll start with last Wednesday. We went to a place called Larder lake. It's about 10 minutes out of Kirkland Lake. I couldn't see much because of the snow, but even going for the car ride was a thrill. I know, it's the little things in life that amuse me the most. LOL. My Grandparents and I went to Tim Hortons and bought some coffee to drink while we sat and watched the snowy lake. We stayed in the van of course.

On Thursday, we just went to one of the big grocery stores in town here. My Grandpa bought me some really interesting vegetarian food. He isn't veg, but he knows that I'm willing to try anything, and that I have tried Tofu before and really liked it. It has to be the firm or extra firm tofu though because the other stuff just doesn't sit in my mouth texturally. I'm very textural when it comes to food. For example, I won't eat mashed bananas because of their texture. Anyways, we bought some cagian chicken bologna, which is made of tofu I guess. We also bought some veggie cheese and a block of Tofu. On Thursday night, I made a killer stir-fry with a package of mixed vegetables, tofu, montreal steak spice and soya sauce. The vegetables that were in it were tomatoes, broccoli, mushrooms, coliflower, and a bunch of other stuff. It was absolutely amazing. Even my Grandpa liked it. My Grandma didn't like the tofu, so she just put it on my plate.

On Friday, I spent most of the day indoors, wrapping gifts for my Grandparents, Newmar, and my aunt, her boyfriend and my cousins. That's always fun. I love wrapping presents.

Saturday was a very busy day because this was when my company came. They arrived around 2:30, so my Grandma spent the morning cooking cabbage rolls for dinner. She also made roast beef for dinner last night. We had our Christmas dinner today because they couldn't stay until Tomorrow. I really wanted them to stay longer. I was actually having fun with them here. I guess it's because they're more mature now.

Yesterday, Dave, my aunt's boyfriend, my aunt, and Grandpa and I went on quite an adventure. I went to Quebec! We're only 45 kilometres away from the Quebec border. My Aunt wanted to see a mountain type thing. It isn't a real mountain, but a really high rock with some hiking trails on it. I am determined to climb this rock during the summer. I told Grandpa that I'll do it even if it kills me. Hey, if Terry Fox can do a marathon across Canada, I can climb a stupid rock. They kept telling me, "No you can't." Ha, I'll prove them wrong. This rock is so neat looking especially with snow on it. Grandpa said it looks like a large boob. LOL.

Well, I think that's all for now. I'll probably have more to write about after tomorrow.

Merry Christmas, everyone, or whatever festival you celebrate.

Jessica and Newmar.

Well folks, I made it!!!

I arrived at my Grandparents' place on Sunday night. This journal entry is going to be long, so if you don't want to read it all, that's okay too. I just have a lot to write about.

First of all, the train ride. I woke up early Sunday morning. Since I had to be at the train station for 8:00 A.M, I had to wake up at 6:00. I was going to take a streetcar, but then I realized that the curbs would be too full of snow, and it would be way too difficult to maneuver through it all. I then decided to take a cab there. Lucky I did because we got hit with a massive snowstorm. People were telling me not to go because they were all afraid I would get strandid at the station or something. I thought I'd chance it. I really wanted to get home. I didn't want to spend another night in res.

arrived at the station around 7:15 because I judged the timing wrong. The cab was very quick at getting to the station. So I had to sit there for about an hour and 15 minutes before boarding the train. The people at the station were very helpful. I loved it. The man at the Northland Rail desk remembered me from when I went to purchase my ticket a few weeks back. Once seated on the train, Newmar just settled right down. He got up a few times along the way, but when he did this, I gave him some kibbles to calm him down. I didn't feed him at the res before we left because he would have had to go to the bathroom on the train, which wouldn't have been good.

I had lunch on the train. I had a Tuna sandwich, which wasn't all that great, but hey, it was food. I was hungry because I hadn't eaten breakfast. Then, I listened to my MP3 player, slept, and looked out the window for the rest of the way. It was a very long ride because we stopped in a few towns along the way. When we got to North Bay, we ran into some mechanical problems with the washrooms, so it took about an hour and a half for them to fix it. Nonetheless, I didn't make it home until 8:30 or so. When I got home, Grandma and Grandpa showed me the house, which is absolutely beautiful. I know I am going to love it here. I have my own apartment for when I want my own space. This house is just the right size too.

The weather is so different up here. I was expecting it to be a lot colder. In Toronto, it's like a bighting cold. Here, it's like a dry cold, which doesn't feel all that cold. I took Newmar out yesterday morning, and I asked Grandpa what the temp was outside, and he said -16. I told him that it doesn't feel like that.

Yesterday, we just sort of hung low because I was still tired from the long train ride. We drove around town so that they could show me a little bit of what Kirkland Lake looked like. It's a really nice town. It's a lot bigger than Harriston was.

Today, I went shoping at this store called Hearts. I got three new outfits. I also finished my Christmas shopping. My Grandma let me open one of my Christmas gifts yesterday. It is a pair of cleets for my boots so I don't slip on ice or snow. They work wonders. The only thing is that when I go into the school, I have to take my boots off and put a pair of runners on so I don't fall on the flooring.

Well, I'll try to keep you updated as to what else happens here. All I know is that I don't ever want this holiday to come to an end. I wish I could just stayhere.

Jessica and Newmar.

Well, I have more eventful news for you all today. This week has only gotten better since I last wrote to you on Tuesday. Other than having to write that exam this morning, which I probably flunked.

I'll start at the beginning of today. I woke up to this very strange sound at my window. It didn't sound like rain the way it had done yesterday morning. It had more of a solid sound to it ... Could it be dirt flying out from a passing vehicle? No, I didn't hear any vehicles going past. also, my room is too far back from the road. Well, I finally decided to go look out the living room window. Sure enough, what did I see? A blanket of white, cold, unwelcoming stuff on the ground, and ice crystals on the window. It was freezing rain or ice pellots. Ugh!!! I didn't want to go out in that, but I knew that Newmar's needs had to be met. We weren't outside any longer than five minutes before Newmar's business was finished. I went to put his harness back on, only to find his back full of ice pellots. Poor dog. He must have been so cold. Even with that extra fur, I still think they can feel the cold, especially when he rushes to the door. I somehow have to teach him to be careful though because I don't do well on ice.

I had to go to the SSD office to write my Interpersonal Skills exam which just about killed me. I hated that exam for all it's worth. I have a bad feeling about it. I went in there at 8:30, but the person in charge of the tests wasn't there until 9 because of the ice and snow on the roads. I didn't finish the test until 10:20. that's how much I struggled with it. Oh well, as long as I pass the course, I don't care. I'm kind of glad that particular one's over. I found it hard.

After my exam, I found out that my laptop had arrived!!! I couldn't bring it up to my room myself, so I had to ask the assistive technition to help. She said that she would after my afternoon class which was ending at 3:30. So, as promised, we loaded the boxes of stuff onto a cart and went upstairs to unload them. She would cut the boxes open, and take out the stuff for me to look at. Oh man I can't wait to set everything up. I'll be playing with the laptop all weekend most likely. Debi, the assistive technition said that she'll help me learn how to use the scanner and printer next week sometime.

Other than those things, today was just an average day of class in the afternoon other than me getting an 84 on a brochure assignment I did a few weeks ago. I'm pretty impressed about that. However, I have my good friend Vicki to thank for helping me with the graphics and stuff. Well, take care everyone, and happy Thanksgiving to those of you in the states.

Jessica and Newmar.

Hmmm ... Sometimes you have to wonder why life gets so good at times, and other times, it can be so bad. I am on cloud nine right now for many reasons. I'll tell you why:

First of all, it is only a few weeks until I go up to Kirkland Lake to see my Grandparents. This is also going to be exciting because I'm going to take the train for the first time all by myself. Well, not totally. I'll have my ever-faithful Newmar by my side of course. speaking of the train ride, I went to the station yesterday to find out some information. I wanted to know about the schedule as well as learn how to get to where the trains leave. It was very informative. I learned that it leaves at 8:40 in the morning, and arrives at my destination at 5:45. It makes for a long day, but I can at least sit and look out the window at the beautiful scenery. I also learned that the Northland rail doesn't run on Saturdays. This means that I'll have to go home on the Sunday, December 16 as I have an MRI on the 15.

The second exciting thing that happened today was that I found out about my placement. As you may or may not be aware, I have been having difficulty with getting a placement secured for January. My field placement coordinator said that my choices were unsafe. She also said that one of them wouldn't be good because she thought the kids would be constantly petting Newmar. I told her that Kids can learn if I teach them. About the placements that were deamed unsafe, well ... Then they'd be unsafe for anyone according to her answer. Grrrrr. It just made me very frustrated. So, now that I've waited this long, I have a placement. It's at Richview Residence, which is an independent living area for Seniors. This will be good because I've never worked with seniors in this capacity before. I've worked with them in a day program, and a nursing home where they were mainly either bed-ridden or unable to care for themselves. In this case, I'm not exactly sure what kinds of things I'll be doing. The field placement coordinator said that I'll be going over there with the intern student to see what it's like. I can't wait for that.

The third good thing is that my laptop will hopefully be in either tomorrow or Thursday. I e-mailed the computer store to ask if it's been shipped, and he said it has, so ... I don't know. I really want it to be here soon so that I can get it set up for work in January in case I need it. Everything is just falling into place. I love it. It's really taking my mind off the whole residence thing. Plus, I get to go out on Friday with some friends!!! That will get my weekend off to a great start.

Well folks, enough rambling on for tonight. I should get off my behind and get some stuff done around here.

Take care.

Jessica and the snoring Newmar.

Well, I went to the doctor's today. It was very interesting. There were two doctors who were helping me. There is Dr. Del Campo and Dr. Chan. I like Dr. Chan much better. LOL. I think Dr. del Campo was very confrontational and doubtful of what I was saying. First what happened was, I sat down and told Dr. chan what was going on. Then, he went to discuss it with Dr. Del Campo. Dr. Del Campo came and asked me the same questions! I don't know. There's just something about him that I don't like.

They suggested that I have an MRI and an EEG done so that they have somewhere to start. Dr. Chan went down to the clinic where they do EEGs to see if they could fit me in today. Sure enough, they had a spot for me at 1:30. Unfortunately, that meant waiting around for 2 hours. Luckily though, they have a Tim Hortons in the lobby, so I was able to grab some lunch. since I didn't get breakfast this morning, I was starving.

They called my name to go into the room for the EEG around 12:45, which was nice since I was starting to fall asleep in my chair. LOL. Newmar had to stay a bit away from the bed because the lady who was putting those electrode things on my head had to get around that side of the bed. Newmar didn't like this one bit especially when I almost had a seizure during the test. They had flashing lights, luckily only for a short period of time though. Newmar tried to put his head through the bars on the bed to get to me. Poor guy. I got him to lie back down so that the technician could continue.

Oh man, I felt so dirty after that. I just wanted to go home and wash. My hair felt so grimy and so did my face because some of the electrodes had to go on my forehead and around my face. LOL. It was strange. So the whole way home, on both subways, the streetcar and the bus, I sat there with a grimmace on my face. LOL. People probably thought "Oh what a bitch." LOL. It felt so good just to hop in that shower when I arrived back at res. I stayed in there for an extra twenty minutes to let it all get out of my skin. LOL.

My next appointment is on December 12, so ... I hope to have some answers by then. They said my MRI should be before then too.

Well, that's it for now, folks. Take care, and I'll write soon.

Jessica and Newmar who hopes he doesn't have to see another hospital for a very long time.

Okay, this is going to be a total Newmar brag. I can't brag on him enough for the wonderful work he does for me. He is a gift from God. I'm so proud of my boy.

I guess you all want to know why I'm so proud of him. LOL. We had an O and M lesson this afternoon. Lately, I have been learning the route to the hospital so that I know how to get there for my neurologist appointment on Wednesday. Newmar had not been there other than today because I thought it would be better to do the street car thing and everything without him, and just use my cane the first two times. Today, I decided to bring him so that he at least knew the route a little when we went on Wednesday.

He knows St. George station, which is the subway station where we transfer onto another subway to go to places like the eaton's centre, and if we wanted to go there, the Union Station. However, today, we were going somewhere he had never been before, St. Patrick station. He knew exactly where to go to get us to the top floor and outside where we needed to catch the streetcar!!! This blew both Anita, my instructor and I away. She said, "Wait a minute, How did he know you wanted to turn left without you even saying or doing anything? He hasn't been here before." I guess he is becoming really in tune with what I need, but still!!! Does he have the ability to read minds? LOL. Just kidding. Hmmm ... That is so strange. This dog never fails to amaze me though, even after five months of being with him.

Well, that's all the exciting news for now. I'll update all of you on how Wednesday goes.

Jessica and the amazing Newmar.

Well, now that I have time to write, which I am mostly doing to keep myself awake, I'll tell you about yesterday's events.

It was Halloween, so since I am on the residence committee, I had to decorate the six lounges for a murder mystery event. Tuesday night, a few of us got together to start preparing some of the decorations, like the red cross that was going in the nurse's office. However, there was a lot of miscommunication yesterday. First, they told me to decorate all afternoon since I finished class at 1:30. However, I could not do this because I didn't know where any of the supplies were. Second of all, I don't know what goes where, what rooms were going to be for which people. so I ended up helping make the cupcakes on the first floor. That was fun because I really felt accepted by the people who were doing it. They were talking up a storm with me. I loved it.

I went back to my room for a while before I had to feed the Noomster. I fed him, then went to where I thought we were going to meet to start decorating. We were supposed to meet on the fifth floor, but when I got there, no one was there. Eventually, after waiting for about ten minutes or so, I saw the residence life coordinator, and she said that there were a few people on the third floor lounge decorating it. I went down there to see what I could do. It was so stressful because there were only three of us decorating, and we had six lounges to do.

Around 6:40, we decided that since only three lounges had been decorated, we would double the characters up because the event started at 7. I was not happy about all of this. when we have a committee meeting, I am definitely going to bring this up to them.

The event itself was great. We had a costume contest. there were six contestants. Another person and I tied!!! I dressed up as a guide dog trainer in training. LOL. I had a blindfold because I know that apprentices have to go through a ten-day period where they wear a blindfold and use a guide dog with the rest of the class. Oh that was fun. Then we had the murder mystery. My team won that too. I guess I was just having good luck last night. I laughed throughout the whole thing because the characters did a great job with the acting, and they were pretty funny.

I was glad to get to bed last night because I knew that I had an 8:05 class this morning. Little did I know, we were going to have a fire incident at 4:20 this morning. Grrrrrr. I was not a happy camper. I woke up all disoriented and stuff. There were flashing lights everywhere I went. All I wanted to do was get Newmar and go. I even forgot my room key. LOL. Luckily they didn't penalize us for that this time. We had to wait outside for about 20 minutes, in our pyjamas, in the freezing cold. I put on my slippers because I know how sensitive my feet are. I kept saying, "If I find out who pulled that fire extinguisher, I'm going to have their head on my wall!!" My RA liked that attitude. LOL. He said, "I'll help you with that one, Jessica." finally, we got let back in after the fire trucks had left. I had to wait in line to get a one time only card for my room. The man at the front desk was really nice about it too.

When we got back to our room, I set my alarm for 7:30 instead of 7 so that I could at least have an extra half hour. I knew Newmar wouldn't have to go that badly. He was even reluctant to wake up at 7:30 when I got his breakfast ready. LOL. Poor guy.

Something really neat happened today. Since I couldn't eat breakfast this morning, I went to William's pub to get a cappuccino and a bagel. Now, the trick was to get everything: Newmar, the cappuccino and the bagel back to the class without any spillage. This is my biggest fear of carrying hot liquids. Newmar did amazingly well. Mind you, I had the gentle leader on him so that he wouldn't pull at all. The biggest challenge was getting up the stairs at the C building. Once I was up, we were doing great. I am so proud of my boy.

Well, that's all for now, folks.

Take care.

Jessica and Newmar.

Hey gang.

Today was a pretty good day for me. I sure laughed a lot. LOL. I think I'm finally back to my old self. Unfortunately though, I had an 8:05 class this morning, but other than that, things were good.
I was really dreading class this morning because I knew that I did not do well on the test that I had completed two weeks ago. We were getting it back today as well as our term mark up until this point. If it weren't for participation, I would have gotten a 54% which is a failing mark in this course. In order to pass, you need a 60 at least. I ended up with a 64 percent as my whole mark. My test was 54 percent. The ten percent came from participation, which is 10% of your mark. I got 10/10, for participation. Before she handed back our test papers, I felt so sick. I thought either I was going to puke from anxiety, or faint. Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant feeling.

I was really glad when she let us out a few minutes early. I needed to get out of that classroom. first of all, my throat was extremely dry and itchy, getting sore. Rita, vicki and I decided we would go to the HSF centre so that Vicki could book the movie room for her group to work on their presentation. We have to do a presentation on a movie that deals a lot with interpersonal skills. I don't have to do that assignment because it is way too visual, so my prof made another assignment for me to do. well ... The funniest thing happened when we were in there. Rita was showing me a fish tank that they had set up. It had really big goldfish swimming around with a whole bunch of greenery behind them. I see this purple thing. It was shiney, so I thought it was a really cool looking fish. LOL. I felt like a total idiot when Rita told me it was a decoration for halloween that they had put there. It was a purple spider. We both cracked up laughing. Then, she showed me three more that were there; a black one and two green ones. We left the H building, and we were still laughing. Poor vicki had to use the bathroom, and she kept saying, "Guys, stop laughing, or I'll piss my pants!!!" By this time, I was almost pissing my pants because I was laughing so hard. We just couldn't stop. It was like a viscious cycle.

The next funny thing that happened today was when we were walking back from the H building, Newmar had to do his thing. Well, I picked it up and everything, but when I tried putting it in the garbage can, I completely missed!! They were joking around with me saying, "No, I don't think you need any alcohol. You're funny as it is. Trying to do a juggling act with a bag of dog shit." Oh man, this cracked me up even more. By the time we got to the B building, my guts were busting. LOL.

We sat and talked for a while before getting lunch because it was still really early. Vicki bought me a juice because I was extremely thirsty. After a while, we bought lunch, and talked some more before going to class.
After class, vicki and I went back to the res so that I could pick up my student ID card. She wanted to see something in the bookstore, so she waited for me downstairs. When I got up to the room, I really had to use the bathroom, so I ran in there, not expecting to have the toilet seat up. I ended up almost falling in. LOL. Then I thought to myself, "Who could have been in here to leave the seat up. It was the cleaning staff I guess. LOL. Oh man, today was just full of humour.
I bought Newmar a toy for his birthday from GDB today. I called them to find out if the new goughnut is being sold in the giftshop. The girl I spoke to on the phone said it is, and that all I have to do is send them a money order andthey will send me one!! I can't wait to see this new toy. Apparently, it is indestructable.

Well, I'd better get going now, we might have a floor meeting in a few minutes.

Take care all,

Jessica and Newmar.

Okay folks, Now that I'm finally feeling up to it, I'll tell you all the exciting news starting with the weekend.

On Friday, I slept most of the day away, I think I woke up around 2. No, I woke up around noon because my phone rang. It was Health services calling to tell me about the Neurologist's apt on November 7. Yay!!! So happy about that one. I'm sick of having these mini seizures called Petit mal seizures. It's basically where I stare off into space for about two or three minutes. Then, I am disoriented, drained, and just plain dumb for about the rest of the day. It is so stupid. My medication doesn't seem to be helping them at all. I guess it's only for Grand mal seizures? However, after the happy call, I went back to sleep for a few more hours. Man I was coming down with something fierce. I had felt it coming for a few days.

Saturday was even worse when it came to the ... whatever it was. I was having cold sweats. I was tired, stiff, the whole bit. I wasn't coughing, but my throat was itchy and sore. I slept until about Noon, when I got up and decided to go to Shoppers Drug Mart to get some vitamin C and some throat Lossenges. I also decided to get some comfort food. I got a whole bag of Rece's Peanut butter cups to eat whenever I had a chocolate craving. Part of me was saying, "No, No, No. You'll get fatter if you eat those." The other was saying, "Fuck it, I don't care. I'm getting them anyway." I guess I still have a bit of the mindset like I did in grade *. I think that's going to stick with me the rest of my life. But ... I won't go into that. On our walk to the store, Newmar decided he was going to act really odd and speed up and slow down whenever the hell he felt like it. This was not good for me because I felt really faint. I should not have been out alone that day.

Sunday wasn't great, but I had to get some things done. I had to meet with Vicki and Rita to finish our assignment on Suicide and depression for Orientation to Human services class on Tuesday. Rita picked me up around 11, and we went over to Vicki's place for a few hours. I love going over there. Just the atmosphere is soooooo much better than res. LOL. Anyways, as I was saying, we worked on our project. The whole time, my head felt like it was either going to implode or explode, one or the other. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. When Rita took me home after we had finished, My room mate even noticed that I didn't look well at all. She told me to go lay down. So, I did for about an hour before I had to feed, Water and relieve the pupster. That was pretty much it for sunday.

Monday wasn't that eventful either. I had to run over to the C building to drop something off for one of my profs before 9:00 A.M. When I was there, another one of my profs saw me and told me I looked like crap, and that I should go home and sleep. I told her that I would if it wasn't 8 hours away. She just laughed and said, "Well, you know what I mean." She even offered to tell the professor that I had that class that I wasn't going to be there that day. I said that would be great. I decided to go to William's coffee pub for a smoothy and a muffin for breakfast. That was nice before a nice day of rest. I went back to the res and slept until about 1:00 when I had to get up for Orientation and mobility. I really didn't want it that day, but I knew I had to do it since I only have two weeks until my appointment at toronto Western. Thankfully, my instructor said that if I still didn't understand the route next week, she would come and we could do it the day of the appointment. She wouldn't be able to come back with me, but that's okay. I could cab it back if I had to. I'm really nervous about doing the route on my own first thing in the morning. first of all, there is a streetcar involved. for those who don't know, a streetcar goes out in the middle of the road. You have to cross 2 or more lanes of traffic to access it. I don't like it at all. I guess it's because I haven't really any experience with them. I like subways and buses, but that's it. Sorry if it seems like I'm whining, but ... I don't think I should do it alone especially if it's only my fourth try at it especially not with a dog. If my instructor is willing to do the route with me to get there, fine, but I refuse to do it by myself on the way back unless by that time, I feel confident with it.

Yesterday was another sick day for me. LOL. When is this going to end? I went to class because I had to present with Rita and Vicki. I didn't want to let them down by not showing up. We did our presentation fairly well, I think. Even the teacher said it went well. I even got two assignments back. One was a test, the other was a self-reflective paper. I got an 88% on the test, and 85% on the paper!!! Sorry, had to brag there. I've never gotten marks like that. After the presentation, we did a bit of work on empowerment, then we took a fifteen minute break. During the break, my prof came up to me and said, "Jessica, you still aren't yourself today." This is the same prof that saw me on Monday morning. I told her that I wasn't myself at all. She let me take the rest of class off. I know it seems like I am missing a lot of class, but I know I can make them all up. If I read the material, and the powerPoints, I should be just fine. Hey, I got through midterms, I'm sure I can get through the rest of the semester.

Last but not least, today. I went to class, which went pretty well. My throat kept itching all through class. I had to keep getting up to go get water. However, I have some good news from today. I received my laptop funding from OSAP. I sent it off to the computer place, so I should receive it in 3 or 4 weeks time. Oh I can't wait for it. Another good thing about today is that Newmar has been a perfect angel. I have been using the gentle leader on him for the past couple of days since he has been acting really silly. I don't know if it was the weather, or if he just has a lot of pent-up energy from me being sick. I haven't been able to play a lot with him. Today, we had two really long playing sessions, which did him a lot of good.

Well, this has been extremely long. I thank all of you who have read this far. It's been a journey. Take care, and don't catch what I've had for the past few days.

Jessica and Newmar, who hopes he doesn't get what his Mommy had.

I had a pretty eventful day yesterday. A friend of mine who is in my class had planned to have Newmar and I over at her place yesterday for the afternoon. It was originally planned for Saturday, but it turned out that she had to work instead. That was okay though because all I wanted to do on Saturday was sleep. The doctor upped my medication, so I need to get used to it. I don't remember if I mentioned in a past entry that I have been taking petit mal seizures lately. The doctor who comes on campus upped my valproic acid because she thought it might help.

Anyways, back to yesterday. I called my friend Vicki at around 11 to see if she was up, and how I could get to meet her. We decided that she would meet me at Jane station, which is only 4 subway stops from Kipling station. That wasn't too difficult to do on my own. I waited there for her until about 12:45. We then took the yorkdale bus to Wilson Avenue, where we caught another bus to another stop that I can't remember. It was about a ten minute walk from there to Vicki's house. Newmar loved it. He had all kinds of things to sniff in the air. LOL. I love how he had his head held high, just sniffing at the air.

We arrived at her place where her wonderful Italian Mother was awaiting us with some wonderful Italian food. She had made lasagna, this really tender meat with a spicy sauce on it, bread, and salid. Oh man was it ever good. It was a good thing I didn't eat breakfast. LOL. I was stuffed after that meal. After we ate, Vicki's mother was going out, so we went to the park for some exercise, and so I could relieve Newmar. It was really nice because there was not a single person in there. So, we sat on the swings for a little while Newmar sunbathed in the sand. LOL. Oh he was in his glory. I took his harness off so he could be a little more comfortable.

After the park, we decided to watch a bit of TV before I had to feed the puppy. I brought his supper because I thought for sure I'd be there past dinner time. I sure was. I was there until about 9:30 or so. After feeding him, we went back downstairs for a bit before Vicki and I decided to leave for a movie that was playing in theatres. It's called a Lonely night. Some parts were really scary, and others were extremely sad.

After the movie, Vicki took me back to Jane station where I caught the subway back to Kipling station. It was like 9:30 at night, and there was almost no one around until I got onto the 44 bus back to the school. It was so weird though because I felt so on edge because of the movie. Every time I heard the slightest little noise, I would look behind me to see if someone was there.

I got back to the res safely though, which was nice. I was glad to be back in a way. It was late, and I had classes today. However, I couldn't sleep worth a shit. LOL. I was so wired.

Well, stay tuned.

Jessica and Newmar.

Oh I am so so so so so so happy!!!!!! Today went very well for Newmar and I. My first class was at 10:50, and it lasted until 1:30. Well, my prof decided to cut it short. She ended it at 1:00. I think she knew that we were all a little overwhelmed by everything that was given to us. She gave us our course outline, a course schedule of when assignments were due, and a book of handouts as well as an assignment booklet. Phew. That's a lot of stuff. I tried to follow along with my reading glasses, but it didn't go so well. My eyes got very sore after a while.

We also discussed what a theory is, what social services are, what human services are, and so on. I found it very interesting. I know I am going to love this course. It's called Orientation to human services. I already have homework from that class. I have two readings as well as an essay that is due in four more weeks. The readings I can't do until I either get a hold of one of my other classmates so that we can get together and they can read me the text. The other option is waiting until the assistive technition gets my book scanned. The publisher doesn't have it in an alternative format. I think I'll be going with the first option, thanks. I don't want to get behind in classes.

After that class, I had orientation and Mobility with Anita from the balance program. She is so nice. She showed me where the william's pub is, and where HB112 is so that I know for tomorrow's class. tomorrow's class is Urban sociology, which should be a lot of fun.

kay, now about my special friend!!! Despite Newmar's testing behaviours these past few days, he did excellent work today. I don't know if it's because he saw going to class as being an adventure, or what it was. LOL. I loved it though. It started off first thing when I took him out for his first relieving. He didn't run me into any door frames, he was very attentive, and he started his moving right turn when I told him to. Oh man I was so proud of him. This continued all throughout the day. The only time he started up again was when he started to get tired after standing in line at the cafeteria for a half an hour, waiting for me to get a stir-fry. Poor guy. while standing there, he kept trying to lay down. I wouldn't let him though, because God knows what's on the floor in there. Also, I didn't want him eating anything. I swear, this dog is a Godsend. We'll just have to see what tomorrow brings. I'm sure he'll do just fine though.

got a phone call from Chuck tonight. He's the field Representative from GDB for the Ontario area. He said that he can come out next Monday night between four and six for my follow-up visit. I can't wait to see him again. He is such a nice guy. He's the one who pushed to get me into the July class. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have received my precious little guy.

Jessica and Newmar, who is always eager to please his Mommy, even when he's a little testy.

Oh dear, oh dear. What's going on?

Newmar has been very testy for the past few days. I think it's because he's in a new area, and he's trying to see what he can get away with. You're probably asking, "What is he doing?" Well, he tries to solicit attention from people because he knows that he's the cutest dog on campus. He also knows that he's perhaps the only dog on campus. It is so weird. Sometimes, a verbal "No" will help him stop the behaviour. However, other times, it takes a leash correction. Other times, both of those don't work. I might have to start using the gentle leader when we go out. When he tries to solicit attention, he suttelly starts to walk towards the person whom he sees. When I notice this, I take action. Grrrrrr. This frustrates me in a way because he was doing so well. What am I doing wrong? His positioning is off a little too. I correct him into the right position when this happens. It's getting a little better, thank god.

I'm glad that Chuck, my field rep is coming next week so we can discuss some of this during my follow-up visit. I just really hope that the gentle leader works. If it doesn't work, I will have to try high collar corrections. If that doesn't work, then I will have to call Grad services. I want to solve this problem before it becomes an even bigger issue.

Well, I start classes tomorrow!!! I am very excited about this. My class tomorrow doesn't start until 10:50. It will go until 1:30, so I have to ask the professor if I can have a little break to take Newmar out to the bathroom. However, I think that if I take him out right before my class, he should be fine for the three hours. I'll give him his water before I take him out before the class. One thing that I'm not worried about is him getting restless during my classes. Ah ... The beauties of having a low energy dog.

Well, stay tuned for the next edition.

Jessica and Newmar.

Today was the beginning of welcome week. I loved it. I am feeling a lot better about college than I was on the weekend. Since there are a lot more people for me to hang out with here, I don't feel so lonely. I hung out in the lounge for a little bit today, which was nice because I got to meet a few more people from my floor.

We had breakfast with the RA's this morning. I had pink lemonade, waffles, and sausages. It was pretty good. They were very helpful with showing me where the line was. They were also good about telling me what they had there to eat. Newmar was very patient and well-behaved for me. The only concern I have is him sniffing and trying to eat stuff off the floor. Tomorrow, I am going to put his gentle leader on him to see if that stops him from doing that. He did the same thing at supper when I went there.

after breakfast, I went up to my room for a while until about 9:30, when I went down to the front lobby where we were going to go on a campus tour. I waited there for about ten minutes. Finally, I saw my RA coming out of the bookstore. I asked him about it, and he said that he'd mention it to Skai, who is part of the residence life team. They sent someone out to take me on the tour right away. I loved that tour. I needed to know where almost all of the buildings were so that I could start looking for my classes tomorrow. The person who helped me was very descriptive. She told me almost what was in each building.

After the tour, I came back to the res so that I could relax for a while and give Newmar some water. It was getting pretty warm, so he was a thirsty puppy. At 12:45, I went down to the lounge with lots of layers of clothing on because we were going to be playing a game against the other floors. The object of the game was to make a line of clothing that was longer than the other floors. We came in second last. LOL. that is okay though.

I had the worst headache by that time. I went back to my room and slept from 2 until 4:30. Ugh ... I hate when I sleep like that. I shouldn't be doing this. It is becoming an every day occurance. I need to start going to bed early again.

As I said, I hung out in the lounge with some people for a bit after I took care of Newmar's needs. He's a very social puppy too, which ... In some ways isn't a good thing. People don't like seeing me correct him, but I know that I have to in order to keep him in line. He picked something off the floor, and I corrected him. He dropped it right away. Ewwww. I hope no one steps on it.

For supper, I had pizza, and a side of mixed vegetables, like colliflower, broccoli and carrots. They were steamed, so they weren't mushy.. I loved that. The only thing wrong with that was that they were somewhat cold. The pizza was hot though. I love it here. I know this is going to be a great year.

Well, stay tuned for more tomorrow!!

Jessica and Newmar, who loves college.

Wow!!! I am so glad I moved in on Thursday as opposed to today like I was supposed to. The crowds were phenominal.

I felt so sick this morning. I got up at my usual 6:30 time. I did Newmar's routine feeding, watering and relieving. Then, I came in and ate my breakfast and drank the coffee. I was exhausted because I ended up staying up until 1:00. I decided to lay down for a few hours since I had a whole day to kill. I slept until 10:40. I have never done this.

When I took Newmar out for his 11:30 relieving, there were so many crowds down at the front desk. I was dodging people left, right and centre. Newmar was so good about this. He wasn't sniffing or anything. We got outside to discover that there was extremely loud music playing. I didn't think that Newmar would do his business during the ruckuss. He did though!! When we went inside, we were squished in an elevator with four other people. I had to hold Newmar's head to make sure he didn't sniff people in inappropriate places.

After I had supper of chicken and rice, my room mate and I went out to see the subway system near the college. We took the 44 bus to Kipling station. Then, we took the subway all through the cycle so that I could hear all the stops. Newmar was amazing through all of this. This route was the first one we have done on a bus without a trainer by our side! I am so proud of my boy. He is handling this whole college experience really well. Even though we got turned around a few times, it didn't confuse him too much. This is going to be absolutely wonderful. Having a dog has made me feel a lot safer in such a big city. I don't feel alone. I feel that I can hold my head high and with confidence. Newmar is a Godsend!

Oh boy oh boy!!! Do I have a lot to write about today. I couldn't write last night, because I was so busy with getting settled in to my dorm room.

I'll start right from the beginning, yesterday morning. I woke up, and did my regular morning routine. The only difference was that Newmar would not do a number 2! This was odd.. It was the second day in a row that he did this. He normally goes to the bathroom like clockwork in the morning. However, I discovered that he didn't want to go because the grass was wet. I took him out right before we were about to leave for the college. He still wouldn't go on the grass, so I asked my Grandma if I could take him onto the empty driveway where the truck used to be. He went as soon as I told him to do his business. He is a silly puppy. I might have to switch him to pavement here.

When my Grandparents were loading up the van, Tyson jumped in the back seat beside Newmar. However, when it was time to go, Grandma tried to take him out. He nestled himself in beside Newmar and started whining. He didn't want us to leave him. Awwww. This just about broke my heart. It was so sad to see him like this.

We stopped at Petcetera along the way as planned to pick up Newmar's new bed. I got him a checkered coloured bed. It is blue, beige, and Navy blue. It is really nice and soft. I let Newmar sniff it to see if he liked it. He didn't seem to want to get on it, since he was in Harness. We didn't have a lot of time, so I just bought it and got in the van. He seems to really like that bed. I gave him the choice of sleeping on his old one and the new one last night because I know that in an unfamilliar area, a dog should sleep on something that has their cent on it. They were both in the range of the tiedown, so if he didn't want the new one, he had the old one to sleep on. We came in from his last relieving, and he just pounced on his new bed!!! This made me really happy.

When we arrived at the college, I had to go get the key for my room and stuff. Everyone at the front desk was so curious about Newmar. They were like, "Well, since we normally don't allow dogs on campus, it'll be interesting to see how this one reacts to certain things." I told them that Newmar won't cause any trouble. We then established a relieving area for him while my Grandparents started unloading the van.

My Grandma helped me unpack pretty much all of my stuff, which was nice of her. I would have been up all night doing it. While we were doing this, Grandpa went down to the front desk to enquire about assistance hooking up my computer. A fellow came up right away. I was very surprised. I had internet right off the bat!!! I wasn't expecting it until either today or even Monday.

After I was all settled in, the three of us decided we were famished! We decided to go out for something to eat. Stupid me, I thought we were just going to the cafeteria and forgot my purse. We walked along Lakeshore bvld for a few blocks. We went to a strip mall where they sell fish and chips. Guess what? I was refused because of my guide dog! My Grandparents and I were livid. We told the man of the laws that guide dogs cannot be refused in public places such as restaurants, or buildings of any kind. He wouldn't even look at my cards that I presented to him. We told him to call the police. He wouldn't do that either. Grandma stormed outside with her cell phone and called the police herself. She told them to meet her at the nearest Tim Hortons because she needed a coffee to kind of cool off. We went and sat down at Tim Hortons with our coffee and waited for the police to show. Well, we sat there for about an hour and a half. Finally, we told Grandma to call the police again to find out what was going on. They told her that they happened to be really busy, so we should file a police report in Orangeville instead! This made me even more infuriated. I have decided that I am going to call Grad Services at GDB to see what they have to say about the whole issue. The guy wouldn't even give us his name, card, nothing. He was actually quite rude.

There was one good thing that came out of this incident. Grandma bought us pizza. It was so good!!! It's right across from the college. I can see me going there often. I was just glad to be in the room for pretty much the rest of the night. a man came up from Maintenance to put Newmar's tiedown in the wall. I let himpet Newmar because he was off harness, and he was being such a good boy. I felt really bad for him yesterday while I was unpacking because even though he was beside me the whole time, I really didn't get to pay good amount of attention to him. I mean, I praised him and stuff for being such a good boy, but ... I don't know. Poor guy must have felt neglected. However, I gave him lots of loving afterwards to make up for it.

I had the worst sleep ever last night!! The bed was so uncomfortable. I am going to need one of those egg crate things. You know, those phome bumpy things. LOL. I can't remember the name of it. I woke up so stiff this morning.

At 9:00, I had O and M with Anita from the Balance program. She showed me where the fire exit is, and where the lounge is on this floor. That's all she could really show me because they don't have the funding from the college. I discussed just having O and M for the Toronto area instead of on campus O and M. She said that it would be free then because they would put me as a regular balance participant. I might have to just explore the campus as well as ask my wonderful room mate if she can show me some places on campus. It shouldn't be too hard. As I've said, I might just do a few sessions on my own with the cane, then heal Newmar while using the cane. then start working him through these routes.

At 1:00 I will be going over to the A building to see Debi Turner for my sticker on the back of my ID card. We will also be exploring the computer in the test centre so that I know what to expect when I go to do exams and tests. Man, that was a fast arrangement. I e-mailed her this morning to ask about it, and she e-mailed me right back. I love it when people are quick to respond.

Newmar seems to be settling right in here. I'm loving having him here. He's helping me out a great deal. In a bit, I am going to do some clicker work with him to find things like garbage cans, the elevator button, and maybe the mail box. He already knows where our room is! I know that it is two doors on the right hand side after you turn left when you come out of the alcove where the elevators are. However, when we get out of the alcove where the elevators are, I just tell him "Room," and he finds it perfectly. The only way for me to know if it's my room is to try the card in the door. We have a card that we swipe to get into our dorm rooms.

If you have read this far, I really appreciate it. I know this was a long one, but ... Hey! It was my first day at the dorm room.

Jessica and Newmar.

Oh ... My ... Gosh!!! Just two more sleeps until I am off to a completely different world. I am so nervous about this. It seemed so far away before, but when I received my student identification card two days ago, I knew it was becoming even more of a reality. I have the evidence in my hands now.

I feel like complete crap right now. I think it's just all nerves. I bet as soon as I arrive on campus on thursday, I will feel a lot better. I guess I just don't know what to expect. I'm nervous about the people, my courses, my O and M, just everything. I know it's really nothing to worry about, but still. It's all new.

I've been running around like a chicken (Or a turkey,) with its head cut off, trying to get everything organized. My Grandma is so kind. She is making me up a care package with enough meals in it to last me about six days. That will give me enough time to get to know where the cafeterias and the necessities are. I vaguely remember where stuff is around there, but I need a refresher. I got Newmar's stuff all packed, other than a few toys, which will be moved with my Grandparents. That way, he will have some stuff for when we go for visits. I haven't packed his bed, water dish, tiedown cable, or grooming kit. These are all things that I'll need tomorrow and Thursday morning. Newmar's handling this really well. He was being jostled around all over the place today as I was packing a few of the last minute stuff. It'll probably be the same tomorrow. I have to go to the drug store, which he hasn't been to yet. I have to go get a phone card for my cell phone, and a few things from the grocery store, like fruit.

Okay, somehow I have to shut off my brain from thinking about college. I need to sleep. If I don't sleep tonight and tomorrow night, I will be screwed. I won't be able to function on Thursday.

Night all.

Jessica and Newmar, who can almost sleep whenever he wants.

Well, I've still quite a few things to do in order to get ready for college on Thursday. I have to go back to the doctor's office tomorrow for my second TB test, get another prescription, go to the bank, go shopping for groceries, go to the drug store, and pack some more stuff. Plus, I have to cook some meals to take with me. I want to bring about six meals so that I don't have to keep running to the cafeteria for the first few days. I can focus on getting settled in.

today, we went to Zellers to see about getting some rubbermade containers to pack some of my stuff in. We also went to Zehers to get some stuff that my Grandparents wanted. Man, was Newmar ever focused. I find it fascinating how some days, he is so sniffy, but others, he is as focused and attentive as a dog can be. We were in a grocery store. Normally, he would be sniffing at every little thing. We were passing people, and he didn't even try to seak attention from them!!! I gave him loads of praise for that as well as some kibble. He was especially good when we went down the doggy aisle where there were lots of dog toys, bones and lots of other things that smelled good to a dog. He didn't touch a thing. I didn't have to correct him once. I love looking at doggy stuff. I found a bed, but it is a little small for him I think.

After we had done Grandma's shopping, we were going out to the van. My Grandparents were pushing and shoving me every which way. One would tell me to go left, the other would tell me to go over there!!! I hate that phrase. I finally got frustrated and started following my dog. He knew where that van was. I don't know how he could find it, but he did. I think it's because he associated it with a good thing, such as kibble! When we got back to the van, I laughed at my Grandparents because they were just baffled at Newmar's work. We followed the building line so that we wouldn't get hit by a car. Then, we crossed at the crosswalk towards the van. If it were up to my Grandparents, they would have had me crossing at any point in the parking lot. LOL. How unsafe is that? I trust myself more with a dog than I do with them. LOL. I wish they would just leave me alone from now on, so that I can give my dog proper directions.

Well, It's final. My Grandparents have officially sold the house. The real-estate came over last night to give them the papers. I stood at the top of the stairs, listening to the whole conversation. I didn't want to be seen because I was in my pyjamas. It was about 9:30 at night, and I was just about to go to bed. When I heard my Grandma say, "So it's sold then, eh?" My heart just sank.

After next Thursday morning, I can kiss this house goodbye. I will never see it again. I have some amazing memories here. When I first came home after my horrible experience at my Dad's, getting the pool, the computer, getting my first guide dog, Watching him play in the back yard for the first time. There are all sorts of memories that I have at this house. I DON'T WANT THEM TO MOVE!!!!! Is that clear enough? I want this to be my home, not some place way in the boonies. I know that this may seem selfish of me, but I can't help it.

I spoke to people from the GDB list this morning about my feelings on moving after college, and they said that Newmar should be fine with the move. I was just worried that they would take him away because they might think I'm not stable enough. The reason I thought this is because I am only staying here for three weeks, then going off to college, then to Grandma and Grandpa's new place for holidays. I will be returning back to college the following September. However, after that, I don't know where I'll be. I might be out on my own by then. The people on the list were very supportive. They said that he will adapt quickly. Even though we will need to learn new routes, it can be done. We will be bonded really well by that point in time.

Awwww. Newmar did the sweetest thing last night. When I got off the computer around 10:00, I was crying because I was just so overwhelmed about the whole college thing, moving, and just everything happening at once. I went over to the side of the bed where Newmar's tiedown is, and he stood right up. He nudged me with his nose as if to say, "Oh, it's okay, Mom. You've got me." I sat there and pet him for a good half an hour. I ended up falling asleep on the floor beside him. I got up, turned off the light, and got into bed. When I did this, he put his head on the side of the bed. This dog is so sweet. I love him so much. I think that this is why I want to have a permanent place we can call home. To me, college is not home. Even though they say that home is what you make it, it still doesn't feel like a home.